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Monday, September 24, 2007

The Curs-ED lighter

Ok here's the tale of the curs-ED lighter although I have a feeling that you kind of had to be there.

A couple of weeks ago in Bangkok Manjula was showing off a lighter she'd been given by some random girl in a club. It was covered in Japanese fabric or something and she seemed to think it was pretty special. Sat at Toby's on her birthday night she all of a sudden decided that she didn't want this lighter anymore so she gave it to me. I tried to refuse knowing that this was a prized possession but she insisted. Half an hour later she asked me if I still had the lighter. Thinking she wanted it back I said yes and tried to give it to her but she didn't want it back. She just wanted to make sure that I still had it. So I said,

What's up Manjula is this lighter curs-ED or something because you really don't want it?

She denied all knowledge of it being curs-ED and made up some lame excuse about how she didn't want it anymore but she wanted someone to have it. It was all sounding dubious to me.

We all forgot about the lighter until we went back to mine to get even more inebriated than we already were (it was Manju's birthday after all). Manjula was the first to leave after getting suitably wasted. Five minutes later there was a knock at the door. Brad almost had a heart attack thinking it was security or the police or the devil or someone and when I opened the door there stood Manju claiming that she needed a light for her cigarette. I demanded that she take her lighter back but she was having none of it. This only served to make me even more convinced that the lighter was indeed curs-ED.

Brad kindly donated his lighter to Manju and she left. We all sat on the bed with the curs-ED lighter sat ominously in the middle of us. Romy had an idea. We should make a film about the lighter. Brad and I got to work on the plotline. So Manju has an evil lighter. She doesn't want it anymore so she gives it to one of her friends who then dies mysteriously in a tragic accident. The lighter somehow finds it's way back to Manjula. She gives it to another friend who also dies. And so on and so on until the police arrest Manju on suspicion of murder. She denies it all blaming it on the curs-ED lighter. Naturally the police think she's ting tong (crazy).

At this point Romy pipes up:

What kind of movie is this?

Brad and I tell her that this is a standard movie plot line. She wants to know why can't the movie just be the lighter going on a killing rampage.

What kind of movie would that be Romy?

I have visions of the curs-ED lighter sprouting arms and brandishing a machete.

And still the lighter sits there on the bed looking at us. Daring us to use it.

I don't want the lighter anymore. I try to give it to Romy. She can't even touch it. Natalie can't even look at it. Brad hates it. I decide to get rid of it and chuck it in the laundry basket. 20 minutes later Brad realises he has no lighter because he gave his to Manju. He fishes the curs-ED one out of the laundry basket. Everyone goes home. Nobody dies. But no one feels the same about Manju's "special" lighter.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha ha ha!!!!!

Don't worry, this isn't a "you had to be there", it's hilarious. I anxiously await an update on the whereabouts of the lighter.

Danny said...

This film should be made, and I must use this lighter (but not die freakishly)

hootchinhannah said...

Brad still has the lighter but a piece of the material that covers it was found on Romy's bag....weird but not really because Brad stuck it there and didn't tell her.

Danny you can use the curs-ED lighter but only at your own risk.

Danny said...

Do you have to pronounce it curs-ED not cursed?

hootchinhannah said...

yes it has to be pronounced curs-ED otherwise something bad will happen to you.

It all started because Manju said she hated the word learned.